Use the “Add to Cart” buttons if you want to order by credit card or direct transfer. All credit card and checking account transfer orders are processed securely by PayPal.
See the bottom of the page for info on ordering by check or money order, or for orders outside the U.S.
Looking for downloads? Digital files are available from:
CD Baby
iTunes
Amazon
and
The Mad Music Archive
Also on Spotify, Napster, and all kinds of other stupid places.
CDs:
| WORM QUARTET – SONGS OF THE MANIACS CD Worm Quartet’s newest CD! Features “The Ballad Of Doctor Stopp,” which won the 2011 Logan Award for best original comedy song, plus “The Laundromat Of Sin,” “Vampire Penguins (Re-Penged,)” “A Song For Worm Quartet To Sing With TV’s Kyle,” and more!$9.99 |
| WORM QUARTET – MENTAL NOTES CD Worm Quartet’s 2007 CD! Includes Dr. Demento hits I’m Not A Girl and you were wrong cabinet sanchez, the FuMP devirginizer C Is For Lettuce, and WQ’s most evil song ever, What Your Parents Think All Your Music Sounds Like. Features guest appearances by the great Luke Ski, Curt Allen (formerly of Moriah,) and Shoebox’s wife. Cover art by Andy Hopp. $9.99 |
| WORM QUARTET – FASTER THAN A SPEEDING MULLET CD Worm Quartet’s third album features the anti-relationship anthem “Great Idea For A Song” (which was the most requested song of 2004 on the Dr. Demento show,) the ode to breeding “I’m Gonna Procreate,” and the mindlessly angry “Let’s Make Fun Of The Amish!” 31 tracks of brand-spankin’-new WQ crap! $9.99 |
| WORM QUARTET – STUPID VIDEO GAME MUSIC CD The re-release of Worm Quartet’s second album, fully remastered with brand-new art, EIGHT bonus tracks, and a super-secret hidden video game! Songs include “Frank’s Not In The Band Anymore” (the #2 song of 2002 on Dr. Demento’s Funny Top 25) plus the equally-existent “Dear God,” “Mommy’s Broken,” “I Hate Syracuse,” “Call Me Jennifer And Steal My Stapler,” “Road Bliss,” and a cover of Atom and his Package’s “It’s A Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad Lib.” Bonus tracks feature appearances by the Gothsicles, the great Luke Ski, and a special surprise guest! $9.99 |
| WORM QUARTET – SUMOPHOBIA ALPHA 2 EX SUPER CHAMPIONSHIP TURBO EDITION CD The remixed, revamped, remastered re-release of Worm Quartet’s long-out-of-print first album, which brought the world such classics as “I Bit William Shatner,” “I Don’t Give ASh*t About Your Website,” and “Hair On The Soap!” Chock-full of bonus tracks including the original 1996 demo, rarities, previously-unreleased tracks, and collaborations with The Great Luke Ski and Sudden Death! Well over an hour’s worth of music! Includes “Inner Voice,” the most requested song of 2005 on the Dr. Demento show! $9.99 |
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Package deal!
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*NEW* WORM QUARTET STALKER PACK All FIVE of Worm Quartet’s albums, plus a sticker, for a penny less than the cost of a thing that costs $40.00! A dirt-cheap way to build an immediate Worm Quartet collection and pretend you were a fan from the beginning. Great as a gift if you want to force Worm Quartet in its entirety down the unsuspecting throats of your hoodlum friends!$39.99 |
| TECHNOBABBLE CD A compilation CD of funny songs that celebrate and bitch about technology in all its forms. Includes a track from Worm Quartet, as well as songs from the great Luke Ski, Sudden Death, Da Vinci’s Notebook, Logan Whitehurst and the Junior Science Club, Tom Smith, and The Arrogant Worms, among others. $4.99 – CLEARANCE SALE! |
| COFFEE INC. – BENEFITS OF SOCIETY CD Coffee Inc. is a band formed by former Worm Quartet guitarist Coffee Roche. Their first album, Benefits of Society, is raw and underproduced, but runs the gambit from hardcore punk to ballads and showcases Coffee’s amazing storytelling and songwriting. Features appearances by Shoebox of Worm Quartet on keyboards and backing vocals. $4.99 |
| BALDBOX – THE DUMB ALBUM CD A side project featuring Shoebox of Worm Quartet and Rob Balder! This album was conceived, written, and recorded over the course of a single weekend for no defensible reason. Features appearances by Devo Spice, TV’s Kyle, and ChrisMezzolesta of Power Salad. 22 tracks, including “This Could Be The Day,” “USF’n A,” “Commander Kafka: Space Roach,” and two exclusive and severely unpleasant mixes of Rob Balder’s ”Rich Fantasy Lives”$9.99 |
Worm Quartet CDs are also available from The FuMP, Interpunk and CD Baby
Digital downloads available from The Mad Music Archive, CD Baby, iTunes, and Amazon
DVDs
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DVD!
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WORM QUARTET – FLEX YOUR NIPPLES – LIVE Nearly an hour and a half of live concert footage featuring Shoebox at his sweatiest, prancing across stages throughout Central New York. Feaures guest performances by the great Luke Ski, Sudden Death, and Crappy the Clown. Includes several dumbass bonus features and an exclusive “Shoebox rambling Incoherently About Shoebox” commentary track with Shoebox and director/stuff-filmin’-guy Seriah Azkath. $9.99 |
STICKERS AND BUTTONS AND SHIRTS AND CRAP
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WORM QUARTET LOGO T-SHIRT Show all your friends what crappy taste in music you have! These are reallyfreakin’ nice blue t-shirts with the WQ logo in white. High quality silk-screened shirts!Clearance – Only $4.99! Only a few left! XXL: 3XL: |
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THE FuMP – “JUST LIKE REAL MUSIC” T-SHIRT Features the FuMP logo and the phrase “Just Like Real Music – Only Funny!” on a charcoal-colored shirt. High quality silk-screened shirts, available from Medium to 3XL!$4.99 – Clearance – Only a few left! Medium: |
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DORK T-SHIRT Truth in advertising at its finest! No Worm Quartet logo to be found on this, in fact this has nothing to do with Worm Quartet beyond the fact that if you’re a fan, you very likely fall into this category. High quality silk-screened shirts.Clearance – Only $4.99! Only a few left! Large: XL: 3XL: |
| WORM QUARTET LOGO STICKERS (Set of 3)Three high-quality vinyl stickers. These are 2.75″ x 2.75″, scientifically determined to be the perfect size for sticking to stuff! Stick them on your car, your locker, your wall, your cat, your mother, your spiritual advisor, or your favorite dumpster!$1.00 |
Prices are in U.S. dollars. Use the glorious “Add To Cart” buttons if you want to order by credit card via PayPal within the U.S.. If you want to order by cash or money order, the shipping info is at the bottom of the page.
If you’re outside the US, please e-mail me for shipping info
Pay attention, because this is stupid. Shipping within the U.S. is based on the total amount of your purchase, as follows:
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TOTAL |
SHIPPING |
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$1.00-$19.99 |
$3.00 |
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$20.00-$1,386.42 |
$4.95 |
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$1,386.43+ |
I LOVE YOU! |
To order by mail, send U.S. cash, check, or money order (payable to “Tim Crist”) to:
Worm Quartet
P.O. Box 93103
Rochester, NY 14692
If you’re in the U.S., you should get your crap within a week or two.
DEALERS / DISTRIBUTORS: E-mail shoebox@wormquartet.com for wholesale rates!